Dear Little Bunny Rabbit,
Sure, you're cute. I'll give you that. With your soft grey-brown fur and your cute little bunny nose, you illicit "oh's" and "ah's" from our entire family.
Ryan and I have watched you late at night, standing sentinel in front of our house, immobile for 20 minutes or more, only to scamper diagonally across the intersection at some unseen provocation. We wake up early and watch you play leap frog with your gal pal and some of the neighborhood squirrels, and that's cute too. But lately, you've crossed the line. My climbing rose bushes, which were trying to get established and had made quite a lot of progress growing up the trellis, have been decimated by your not-so-cute front teeth and your seemingly insatiable appetite.
I mean, we all like a good meal from time to time, and I'm all for you going to town on all the dandelions in our yard, not to mention the creeping charlie. Heck, you can even get to the compost now that the squirrels have created a hole in the side of the bin.
But please, leave my roses be.
If you do not heed this friendly little warning, I will be forced to take some action in defense of my little 'Blaze of Glory' and 'Jubilee'. Don't push me. I will spray them with pepper gas, or douse them with garlic oil, or any of the measures the garden center recommended, even (gasp) sprinkling dehydrated fox urine on them to get the message across.
We've already had to enclose our garden because of last year's incident. You felt a little too entitled and consumed all our beans, broccoli, and cantaloupe. I would like to remind you of what happened to your forbear, Mr. Peter Rabbit, when he went into Mr. MacGregor's garden one too many times.
Please consider this a fair warning and act accordingly.